Thursday, 5 September 2013

Link Isn't a Pansy, He Just Likes Hanging With Fairies (And Breaking Pots)

Link from the Legend of Zelda series of games is one of the most iconic video game characters of all time. Along with Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog, he was one of the first truly classic video game protagonists and his series of games very rarely disappoints. Eternally mute, armed with a sword and shield, sporting pointy ears, and garbed in the most masculine use of a green tunic and pixie hat ensemble ever, he is a hero for the ages.

Ladies.

But befitting all great heroes, Link's look has evolved quite substantially over time, as shown here:

The um, evolution of Link... I guess once you mastered badassery, you don't need to evolve much further.

In his games, Link has to repeatedly save the Princess Zelda, who like Princess Peaches, is routinely kidnapped or threatened. Usually by the evil Ganondorf.

The guy in the background with the giant swords. You probably can't see him, Link is in the way.

However, Link will save Zelda (and by extension, the world) with child-like wonder, an assortment of magical items and a mystical sword.


Don't worry, he's got this.

It is this child-like wonder that is possibly Link's greatest character trait. Link is nearly always a child or teenager in the games and yet he is the only one who can save the world of Hyrule from inevitable destruction. In fact, in Minish Cap, the only reason Link is able to see the Picori, and thus save Zelda, is because he is a child and only innocent children can see them. 

"What? Oh, god... I didn't accidentally step on one of you while I was still big, did I?!" You see, the Picori are like really small. 

Unfortunately, this childish aspect of the character has been met with some derision, as some gamers have criticised Link as an immature character and mock him as cry baby.

Also, they insinuate he may be a bed-wetter but that is pure speculation.

Coupled with his child-like whimsy, Link-bashers also like to question Link's sexuality despite the fact he regularly saves a girl from danger, usually because of his fashion sense and tendency to hang out with fairies. Thus, they suggest that he is gay or a fag. Although attacking Link's (or anyone else's) sexual orientation is facetious and a good way to prove why you fail at arguing, it is not actually a problem in this instance.

"Done saving the day, time to be fabulous!"
He may be even be more badass now that he turned the sky into a diamond rainbow.

Perhaps these allegations of homosexuality arose because Link has a sensitive side which frightens guys not comfortable in their sexuality, indicated by his love of music and blowing on pipes.

You can see the tenderness in his eyes.

Link also raps.


'Nuff said.

About Me

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This introduction is supposed to let you know that you have found the correct Caleb. 

I am here to tell that your search is over. I am indeed the correct Caleb for any given situation. Parties, hunter-gatherings, long walks on the beach, shindigs, guest appearances, and so much more. I am an multi-purpose Caleb guaranteed to impress friends and influence your uncle.

I also write stuff online.