Friday, 6 June 2014

Thor Loves His Hammer But Loki Has a Thing For Horns

Harken, o wary internet traveler. Cease thy cat video watching for but a moment to hear a tale sure to shake the senses and lift the spirits with wonder and amazement. For verily, few tales can stir the soul like those which feature that most powerful of warriors, Thor the Thunderer, and his most evil step-brother, Loki the Trickster.

This guy.

Since time immemorial, Loki has sought to defeat his half-brother through any form of deception, sorcery, and manipulation available to him in order to gain dominion over Asgard. Yet Thor's mighty father and liege, Odin the All-Father, ruler of Asgard, still kept Loki in his counsel because of reasons no mere mortal could ever hope to comprehend.

Once, knowing full well of his evil and trickery, Odin the Wise deemed Loki to be the perfect steward to hold rule in his stead while he ventured to Midgard to forbid Thor from loving the mortal, Jane Foster.

"Odin All-Father, dost thou think it wise to let Loki the Evil One, who swore vengeance on myself and the whole of Asgard, to take thy place in your absence?" - Thor
"Of course. I see not why it worries thou so, Thunderer. Verily, my son, thou ought to learn to chill." - Odin

For though this undertaking itself was made at the suggestion of Loki, perish the thought that all-knowing Odin could be fooled so easily by a known liar. Especially not directly after the god of mischief sought to destroy Thor by convincing the noble Odin to use the Enchantress' beauty to conquer the Thunderer's heart so he wouldn't fall in love with Jane Foster...

The Enchantress knows that Loki tricked Odin because of course he did.

But surely, Odin the supreme ruler of Asgard punished Loki once he learnt of his trickery, I hear thee ask? And so he did. Befitting such a just ruler, wise Odin oft times punished Loki with stern consequences for his heinous crimes and constant betrayal.

For a terrible fate awaits those who plot treason against Asgard, a fate such as,

Doing chores until your father tells you otherwise.

Yes, bear witness to the wisdom of Odin the All-Father. Only he could devise a punishment so appropriately fitting for the act of treason. Bear witness and count yourself lucky that thou did not raise the ire of Odin and be doomed to do laundry for a week!

Odin the Wise oft devised punishments which the evil Loki could never hope to escape from, despite all his cunning and guile,

Well, that was easy.

Tremble at the harsh, yet just, punishments Odin gave Loki for his repeated villainy, such as forbidding Loki to leave Asgard but putting no measures in place to ensure that he remained in that holy citadel,

Never give up. Never surrender.

For lo, with Odin's judgment still ringing in his ears and his captivity only just begun,  

Well, that was easy.
Is Odin even trying to enforce his punishments?

But let us leave the vile Trickster for the moment, and cast our attention to that most noble of warriors, Odin's favoured son and the god of thunder, Thor!

Firstborn to Odin and heir to his throne, Thor is Asgard's mightiest and bravest champion, a more honest and steadfast soul could not be found in any realm.

With his mystic hammer, Mjolnir, Thor is able to control the elements in a manner befitting one named the Thunderer!

Tap your handle once, tap it twice. Lo and behold, tornado and ice.

Thor's might is second only to his father, the all-powerful Odin, but his courage knows no bounds. However, despite the god of thunder's might and prowess in battle, the jealous Loki sought nothing more than to defeat his step-brother. Knowing that a frontal attack would prove folly against the strength and power of Thor, Loki would oft disguise himself in order to trick the Thunderer.

Once, the god of mischief infiltrated the office of Dr. Don Blake, Thor's alias on Earth in order to goad Thor into battle so that he can separate him from his hammer, the source of his strength.


Once deprived of the mighty hammer Mjolnir, Thor reverted back into the mortal Don Blake and Loki took the shape of a pigeon and flew away, as an Asgardian is wont to do.

But using cunning of his own, Don Blake tricked Loki into releasing his hold over Mjolnir, so that he could gain the power of Thor once more. However, Loki yet again transformed into a pigeon for he is truly a mischievous fiend,

Do not fear. Thor figured out which pigeon was Loki because he was the only one that didn't eat the peanuts Thor gave them.
Little known fact: Loki is allergic to peanuts.

Though constantly bested by Thor and spurned by Odin, Loki never ceased in his jealous rivalry with the god of thunder, as he was convinced it was he that deserved to be Odin's heir. Eternally craving the favour that Odin all-too-readily bestowed on his first-born son but denied to him, he became twisted in his jealousy and pride.

Thus he cared not for the mortals of Midgard that Thor loved so, seeing them no more than subjects to be ruled, or worse, playthings to be toyed with,

"Whateva. I do what I want."

But at the root of all Loki's villainy and jealous pride, lies a son who wished for naught other than to be accepted and praised by his father. Who, instead of confronting his feelings of rejection, instead displaced them on to an external foe, turning them into a self-righteous rage against he who would call him brother.

Thus he used that burning hate to fuel his own mad quest for power and the dominion of others who so long dismissed him in favour of his eternal enemy.

For such is brotherhood in Asgard, intrepid internet traveler. But hark, the tale is concluded! For now...


Thor Wikipedia page

Much of this was based on Thor's adventures in

Journey Into Mystery #85
Journey Into Mystery #88
Journey Into Mystery #103
Journey Into Mystery #104

Read them for Stan Lee/Jack Kirby fantasty awesomeness

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