Sunday, 3 March 2013

Alan Moore is Scary

Alan Moore is a legend among legends in the comic book industry. Possibly no other comic book author has had the impact on the industry and the perception of comic books as a medium as he has. While there have been great masters of comics before and after Alan Moore, they are exactly that, before or after Alan Moore. That's how large an impression he made with his 1980s work, there is a definite 'before and after' period. He may not be my favourite comic author, that slight honour goes to Grant Morrison, or write my favourite comic book dialogue, that's Micheal Brian Bendis (or Joss Whedon if he feels like writing a comic), but he is without a doubt the most influential comic book writer of all time. Works like Watchmen and V for Vendetta, although slightly over-rated, are complex, rich and nuanced works which explored the possibilities of comics as a medium and as an art-form, whilst his epic comic novel, From Hell, is truly his magnum opus, a dense and multi-layered work that weaves masonry, conspiracy, secret orders, witchcraft, paganism and political intrigue and scandal all into the Jack the Ripper murders, that reads less like a murder mystery, as Jack's identity is revealed almost instantaneously, but more like a smorgasbord of all the elements that ushered in the 20th century.

That said, Alan Moore is a scary-looking mother-fucker. Seriously. He's got a zombie-fied face that looks like sleep is something it hasn't seen in years, wears hardcore silver rings on each of his massive fingers, and has a beard that looks like it eats other beards for sustenance when it isn't busy killing puppies and stealing candy from little children. He honestly looks like an undead wizard pirate who emerged from the depths of the seventh level of hell and then shrugged off climbing through those unspeakable pits of horror, because he's Alan Fucking Moore, and that's what Alan Fucking Moore does in his daily routine.

But don't just take my word for it, look here:

"Hello."

And here, where he is clearly invoking some terrible binding spell on some poor critic's nutsack:

"Hello, again."


Don't let the grey in his hair in the below picture fool you into thinking that means he is now old and feeble, it's just that the zombiefication process has accelerated and soon his dark powers will be absolute.


A picture from the same day proves that his earlier look of disinterest in the above the photo was just his disdain for the mere mortal who was foolish enough to try to capture his image by getting close.
In this second photo, you can sense that he is just thinking of which ghastly undead curse to unleash on the pitiful camera-person:

"Nail Ripping Curse or Kneecap-Breaking Spell? Probably do both to be safe."

And finally, in this photo the zombiefication process is complete. While he may look thinner and worn-out that is just so he can be streamlined and access his omnipotent undead powers more fully, respectively:

"I am now ready to be your Unholy Overlord."
I will admit that this observation is not entirely original and others have also noted Alan Moore's ghoulish appearance and otherworldly zombie wizard powers, most notably the inspiration for this blog, Randy Milholland's tribute (read: plaintive plea to the Dark Lord of comics not to take his soul through his spine) on his webcomic, Something Positive:



I end by reiterating, Alan Moore is fucking scary.


Links:

Check out my YouTube channel. Unlike Alan Moore, it's not scary at all.

http://www.youtube.com/sherricale

Read Something Positive, it's good-

http://www.somethingpositive.net/

URLs for photos-

http://dorkforty.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/alan-moore.jpg
http://cdn.topshelfcomix.com/catalog/covers/alanmoorelitho_lg.jpg
http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/alan-moore.jpg
http://www.ultraculture.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Alan-Moore.jpeg
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01181/arts-graphics-2007_1181528a.jpg

About Me

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This introduction is supposed to let you know that you have found the correct Caleb. 

I am here to tell that your search is over. I am indeed the correct Caleb for any given situation. Parties, hunter-gatherings, long walks on the beach, shindigs, guest appearances, and so much more. I am an multi-purpose Caleb guaranteed to impress friends and influence your uncle.

I also write stuff online.